I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Holy shit dude........stairs
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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