so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
no, he came in my armpit
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
