it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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