I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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