Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize