Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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