I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
