You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
