and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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