Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
