He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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