Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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