I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
