And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize