uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I smell stomach acid.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize