I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
