You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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