I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We have so much sex to catch up on
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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