...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
