He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
