I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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