I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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