go do what you do best...puke behind churches
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
