I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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