i think i have two assholes
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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