pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
