That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
