I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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