i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
