i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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