Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
