Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
