The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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