hell yes lets make some ravioli
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i need some magic done to my vagina
you never un-have a 4some
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
