i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
