he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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