I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
