Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
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I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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