i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
