normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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