I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
