walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?