what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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