we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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