it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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