Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
