His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
