this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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