these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
