i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
