come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
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It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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