i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Im just a social blackout drinker.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
