Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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