dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
