Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
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