Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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