What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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