tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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